Break Free Through Recognizing Your Uniqeness

In the modern world where women strive to be equal to men in everything is it wise to be aware to the way in which the Kabbalah perceived the differences between men and women and let each express his uniqueness. In a discussion by Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson on the reasons for Moses being the son of Amaram that Jochebed his aunt to be his wife he discusses very nicely the differences between men and women.

Jewish mysticism teaches that a woman’s uniqueness lies in her ability to accept and internalize, while a man’s fulfillment lies in his ability to project and bestow (9). This is expressed not only in the physical structures of their bodies and in the nature of their physical union, where the man protrudes and projects while the woman accepts and internalizes, but also in their psychological and spiritual structures as well. One of the most fulfilling experiences for many a woman is to accept and absorb another person’s emotions. Women, more then men, naturally cherish the experience of a genuine relationship, creating space for the other in their lives (10). While men often deceive themselves that they are complete in-and-of themselves, many a woman needs no more then a moment’s call to become fully emotionally present to embrace the loving or aching heart of another human being. The Kabbalah teaches that a man’s primary satisfaction lies in his power to give, to bestow and to project, while a women experiences deep joy and serenity in her ability to be present and take it in. Man often feels the urge to change a situation and rectify a problem, while women see the experience of listening, accepting and identifying as an end in-and-of itself. This does not mean to say that a woman does not cherish the opportunity to influence, give and transform. Yet women often accomplish these objectives by internalizing rather then by bestowing; through silence more than through noise; by being rather then by projecting. The Kabbalah explains that the souls of most men originate within G-d as a creator, while the souls of most women stem from G-d as an essential being (11). For man to feel fulfilled he must create, transform, rectify; for woman to be fulfilled she must be.

If we are to have optimal relationships between men and women it is important not to lose out uniqueness while acting to achieve a much needed equality